School of Movement Medicine - Mindfulness in Motion

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Issue: September Newsletter
My Left Foot

By Samantha Brauer
Movement Medicine with my left foot. 4 days of Dancing with the Heart of the World. As always, my heart calling me to be there. My life arranged and orientated towards another opportunity to be reunited with our community of dancers and the privilege of Ya’acov and Susannah holding us all in their creative mastery.

As I lay in the agony of the broken foot with the Awareness of what had just happened, I thought sometimes pain is there to call us to presence.  So in the days to follow I came to accept my fate surrendering to the 4 walls of my enforced vision quest. As I lay with my foot elevated in a moonboot praying by some miracle that the surgeon’s insistence  to operate would not be my story. I felt deeply into my body and the story I wished to write was one where I trusted my body and its intelligence to know what it needed to do to heal itself. I took comfrey to assist the bones in knitting, remained immobile and prayed. After 10 days I found a second opinion that supported my choice not to operate. I breathed a deep sigh of relief, in fact I was ecstatic for an entire! However this relief was short lived as now I was to be married to my moonboot for 3 months with no weight bearing. I could not help but wonder what treasures lay beneath this shipwreck of my now broken left foot.

The gifts of my left foot continued as I struggled through the frustration and dependency and need to ask for help. I came to moments of sweet stillness and presence to it all and as with all waves I then dropped into such deep vulnerability, grief and frustration that had me cornered as if there was no way out. From the darkness I would then be drawn to hearing the birds singing outside my window and a rush of energy would move through my body. I felt the miracle of life coming to meet me even from my place of immobility.

Step by step I watched the old forms breaking away dislodging themselves from my body, my being making way for the new forms to emerge as my bones began to meet again a new.

Initially with talk of an operation I saw no way to being at “The Heart of the World” with Susannah and Ya’acov. My life planned around their arrival like life buoys floating in the deep blue. In the months leading up to the workshop this is one of the few things that makes sense to me; dancing in prayer for all our relations. One footed or two need not make a difference to my offering in the dance. It slowly dawned on me that maybe, just maybe this was one of the treasures to be unearthed.

What would it be like to practice this medicine I hold so dearly in my life with only one foot mobile and not being able to stand. I would be totally dependent on others for support, a thought that left me feeling very uncomfortable, and of course bringing my deep vulnerability to the dance floor.

Was this a gateway to experience what it’s like to have a physical limitation? How would that change the experience for me and for others? And so the mind became very active trying to figure it all out. What would it feel like to be a special needs case, to need support and help so visibly? How am I going to manage to move?

In movement as in life we can get stuck in habitual ways of moving and doing things if we do not invite presence and consciousness to our movement in life.

When you are literally taken off your feet there is no space for habitual ways of moving and engaging. It is all new and so herein lay the many gifts and blessings of this experience. I accessed ancient memories buried deep in my body having no bearing on my ability to stand on both my feet.

In order to show up with what ever we perceive to be our limitation we simply have to surrender to what is. So I let go of all the questions and chose to enter the moment letting my left foot guide me, trusting in the medicine of the dance and offering my prayer that when this foot touches the Earth once again it will know in which direction to walk this Earth - with Love, Respect, Gratitude, Blessings and Divine Guidance.

And now 3 months later, I am walking with my embodied realized prayers about to enter the African wilderness, one of many dreams come true.

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The views expressed here do not necessarily represent the views of the School of Movement Medicine. Roland Wilkinson, Nappers Crossing, Staverton, Devon TQ9 6PD, UK Tel & Fax +44 (0)1803 762255 http://www.