School of Movement Medicine - Mindfulness in Motion

Back to contents

Issue: May 2013 Newsletter
Discovering and celebrating my relation with the Divine Feminine.

By Sari Veugelers
As we moved from the year 2012 into the year 2013 I experienced how true it felt for me that we are moving from an era in which the masculine has been leading into an era in which the feminine is leading the way.

And because I feel it is a subject that matters to many of us I want to share some of my experiences.

As we all arrived at this gathering we sat in the circle giving each other space to share what was in our hearts; what felt relevant for us to share right now.

When it was my turn to share I said: I am learning to hold myself and I recently found out that the Universe loves me. What did I mean by ‘I am holding myself’ I was wondering? Actually it was more that I allowed myself to be held and this at the same time meant that I was actually holding myself.

To explain this a bit more in detail I have to step back a little bit further in time;

Before I went to the Winter Dream Dance I had a dream. I dreamed that I turned to a man to touch his heart, by placing my two hands on his heart chakra; one on his back and the other on his chest. In my dream he waved away my gesture, making clear he did not want it. In front of him was another man, a young man, a dancer, who talked to him about interesting things, intellectual things. I noticed that this was what the man did want to relate to. Then the man turned to me, sitting at his right side and said: ‘Is this what you wanted to tell me?’ And I said: ‘Yes’ although I knew it was not true.

I woke up with such a sadness and feeling of being rejected.

As I was lying awake trying to find out what this dream meant the idea came to my mind to turn the situation around. This is something I often do; I change my perspective in a situation to the opposite and find out how that feels. So I simply imagined the man making the same gesture towards me. And there was the insight: ‘Oh, it is about self love! About loving myself!’ And at the same time I could feel this self love as an energy coming from the edge of my aura towards me. And it felt gooood!

In the days to follow I kept my focus on experiencing this self love. Then at some point I wondered: ‘So what is this ‘self’ that I love?’. Turning inward I felt this ‘self’ that I love is the Divine Self. At that moment the experience of self love turned into Universal Self love. The Universe loves me as part of/manifestation of  its Universal Self. It is God or the Universe loving itself. When loving myself felt gooood, this  - I can tell you-  felt goooooood!

So this is where I was when I shared in our circle at the Winter Dream Dance.

Among all the beautiful and touching input in this circle was the sharing of a woman who had been to a womb whisperer.

This womb whisperer is a woman who serves as a messenger between a woman and her womb, giving messages from the womb. This resonated with me and many other women in the circle.

As my attention was now with my womb I started to dance from my womb right away. With the Tree of Life meditation I rooted myself from my womb and to my surprise my feeling of being rooted was now at least 10 times stronger! Now I knew what it was like to be rooted as a woman.

I felt rooted from my waist down in the shape of a mountain.

 As I approached Ya’Acov  I experienced my own authority as a woman! And I realised I had always had male figures as authorities in my life, such as the Dalai Lama, who obviously were authorities in a male body. But now I knew that there was a specific strength to being in your own authority as a woman, being firmly rooted in a female body! I wondered how it was for men compared to my experience as a woman.

I asked Y about it and he told me that the first thing he learned when he took his first steps into shamanism, was to build an energetic womb. So I wondered ‘How come we do not work with this more explicitly in MM?’ And he replied: ‘When you miss something in a teaching, it is because it is your medicine (the medicine you are able to bring).’ Of course this made me wonder some more.

I danced through the 4 elements from my womb and wow this was such a new experience. I received the elements in my womb and went from micro to medio to macro with them.

This together with remembering and experiencing the Universe loving me became a total ecstatic dance. Every breath I took, every tiny motion of energy I perceived in my body must have triggered my body to release endorphins. My body was so sensitive and my heart so awake, fuelled or energised by the lively contained presence in and of my womb that I realised to my surprise that one can even have enough of ecstasy. It simply becomes too much to bare.

From dancing in my womb in micro, medio meant still dancing in my womb but being with my whole body movement in my womb dancing.

Dancing with the women in our group I now started to relate to them from my womb to their womb. This made a huge difference. I perceived their strength! I saw them as part of the powerful force of the earth, their base being solid widening towards the earth from the waist down.

Now I knew what sisterhood meant! I felt our strength as sisters, belonging to this earth, manifesting part of this earth in the same way because we are all women, related to the Earth as such. Experiencing our strength deriving from this relation I could imagine men being afraid of this strength. I also felt that we as women connecting to each other from this strength could really make a difference. This experience of sisterhood was absolutely new to me.

I kept on experimenting; Embracing women I related to their womb from my womb, instead of my usual heart to heart hug. Now it was an embrace of recognition, of sisterhood, full of strength, empowering.

This way of connecting took a little time during the embrace. One lady told me as our wombs met: “Now I feel you!”. What a nice surprise.

And then, I do not remember when or where in the sequence of my dance, sacred alchemy took place or another  veil was lifted from my unconscious mind and I found myself dancing in the Universal Womb! The Universe was a womb in which I and all of creation was manifesting. And it made so much sense! For the first time in my life I had the feeling of belonging.

I as a being in a feminine body belonged naturally!

I realised how even my idea of and experience of God/the Universe had unconsciously been a male one. I had always related to the Universe as an eternal expanding space. Now the Maternal Universe was holding me and all of life. It was more a sense of being within, being part of. This was a different quality of Universe, a much more physical one as well. Wow, how would we as mankind evolve when we perceived and considered the Universe or God first of all as Maternal? As holding us? Us being part of the dream that manifested within her?

And it totally made sense having the Maternal Universe to relate to in the winter in our Winter Dream dance, where we were going inside to find and nourish our dreams,  as opposed to the Paternal Universe that held the Summer Long Dance being a ceremony of celebrating and sharing what we received and giving back in gratitude towards life.

So during this Winter Dream Dance one seed in me definitely saw the light. Finding my strength as a woman during the WDD I spontaneously gave 3 healing sessions to women in which the womb was the central organ in the healing process. I loved this work so much that the wish arose to make this the main focus of my healing work and also to start a Movement Medicine group for women to dance with Movement Medicine from the sacred Mystery place of our womb.

With much enjoyment I recently made a flyer for this including the 4 elements.

I am excited to see how the continuation of this dream will unfold. Meanwhile I am paying attention to balancing the dance of the maternal and paternal energies to let this seed grow into manifestation; loving myself enough not to push and leaving space so the natural process of things falling into place and things becoming clear around how I would like it can take place, and at the same time loving myself enough not to be too reluctant to act so that the small steps I take keep nourishing the strength of the inspiration and allow the confidence in its manifestation to grow.

Referring back to the dream I had before the Winter Dream Dance; what  I did not see then but is clear to me now is that it was not just about self love, more specifically the dream pointed in the direction of loving myself as a woman, and appreciating my beautiful and inspiring relation with the divine feminine.

Love and blessings to all,

Sari Veugelers (AP1)

Back to contents

The views expressed here do not necessarily represent the views of the School of Movement Medicine. Roland Wilkinson, Nappers Crossing, Staverton, Devon TQ9 6PD, UK Tel & Fax +44 (0)1803 762255 http://www.